Graduation excitement

At Limefreckle Jr's new school, graduation celebrations are a really big deal for EVERYONE! As it's a very small school, with a small number of students, graduation is for EVERYONE, not just the kids that are actually leaving the school.

Limefreckle Jr's grad was last week, and we had a fantastic time! I've never seen Limefreckle Jr. so happy, so in his element, so "himself". I've never sat down at a meal at a public event without worrying what he was up to.....but here, it didn't matter, he was off having fun with his friends, there are no judgements about behaviour, I knew he was loved and cared for by everyone in the room. The kids ran around, danced, laughed, had fun, they were KIDS, not KIDS WITH AUTISM. It was wonderful.

This school is a very special place. In the few short months we have been there Limefreckle Jr. has become a different boy. His bad behaviours are decreasing, he is learning, he is thriving!! His report card this year was so markedly different from anything we had ever received in the past. He never was given any grades before, his report card was called an "anectdotal" report in the public system -- it would contain remarks about his behaviour mostly, nothing about it would make you understand what, if anything, he had actually learned! This time around we have real, quantifiable evidence of the actual work that he has completed, we know what grade level he is working at, we know what skills he has developed, and where he needs improvement! It's a different world at this private school.

For a long time after we switched schools, I was still very angry at the public system. Angry that they didn't provide Limefreckle Jr. with the proper environment to learn. Angry that instead of working to help him through any issues that he had, they would take the easy way out, and call me to come and get him, which, as you can imagine, only worked to reinforce the bad behaviours. He played the staff like a violin, he knew exactly what he needed to do to get out of work, out of anything he didn't want to do. And he did it -- and it worked. If he decided that he wasn't going to do something, he didn't do it.

Now don't get me wrong, I feel sorry for the people in the public system. Good people that want to help, but are not equipped to do so. As angry as I was in the beginning that we had to seek out private schooling in order to educate our son, now I am so very thankful. Had the public school not failed so miserably for us, I never would have investigated private learning, and never would have found this magical place. In 5 short months, my daily stresses are gone.....I won't have to fight tooth and nail anymore to get my son the support he needs -- the support he DESERVES -- I no longer will have to justify his behaviours, I'm in a place now that truly understands autism, and how to deal with it. Our future is bright, I have a life back, I haven't been this relaxed and happy in years. Yes, it's private, so that comes with a price -- but the price Limefreckle Jr. would have paid if we had kept trying to trudge through the public system would have been far greater!

My craft room

I took these pictures a while back, to show you where I create. I know, you are asking, "what do you create?" I have had full intentions for MONTHS now to get some jewelry listed for sale, I have lots of pieces to show you...but so little time....this summer it is definitely a pet project of mine to get pieces photographed and online at icraft.ca, etsy.com and a new site that I have joined and not participated in, artfire.com

Anyway, so here are some pics of where the magic happens....



My Wall of beads! I know, I know, I have way more beads than I'm ever going to use.....perhaps I should sell some of them! I used to store everything in beadboxes -- small opaque containers, however I find this setup soooo much easier for a visual person like me!!!



And of course I need some jars of beads too....these are all the vintage and leftover beads I have been collecting..it's like candy!



Everything is stored in these boxes from IKEA....an organizers paradise! All my wool is stored down below, miscellanous stuff up above:



More kitchen gadgets -- this time lazy susans -- holding all my Swarovski pearls and stones. And of course a TV, because if you know me at all you know I watch a LOT of TV!



And lastly, an easy way to store my tools -- handy and at my fingertips:

Let's stroll down memory lane, shall we?

I was reading June's blog the other day (and if you don't read her, you really should, she is quite funny!) and she was discussing this product:



do you remember it? I sure do, what a blast from the past....I can remember how it went on all sticky, and you had to hold your arms up in the air forever until it dried.....oh, those were the days!!! Anyway, her blog comments got me to reminiscing about a whole bunch of products....


You can try hard, or you can try soft....but soft will get them all the time......come on, don't pretend you don't remember the jingle!!!

Or how about this?


All the fashionable Barbies of my day lived in one of these. Not my Barbies mind you, they couldn't afford the rent...they lived in a tent.....but my best friend down the road had one, and boy, did I ever covet that townhouse!!!



Can't you just smell the sunscreen right now? And do you remember Elke Sommer???? WHO DOESN'T!



Did your hair REALLY smell terrific? I don't remember, but we bought it a lot, so it must have!

Now, this one, I DO remember...and it did smell good!!!




And who didn't want to look like Dorothy Hamill? I had her haircut did you? And for some reason, I felt I must use the shampoo too....can't recall if it made it as bouncy as hers was in the commercial though!


Remember the taste of these? Yummo!!!! I love the 7-UP and Root beer flavours....




Do you remember these little dolls? They smelled like a mixture of perfume and plastic....and I loved them!



Weren't the 70's great!!!???!!!

The hardest part about raising a child on the Autism spectrum

It's hard to find out that your child has a diagnosis on the autism spectrum. Your world turns upside down at that moment. It's hard dealing with the very wide and varied behaviours that are associated with autism. The tantrums alone can sometimes require medication and/or vast amounts of wine to get through (for you, not your child). It's DEFINITELY hard trying to navigate your way through the mountain of paperwork and red tape associated in trying to find the right help, help that will work for your particular child. Doctor's differ with their advice, therapists have other ideas, play therapy, music therapy, IBI therapy, there's so much out there to try. Doctor's appointments, occupational therapy, speech therapy, sensory rooms, chiropractic, your busy running from one appointment to another, sitting in waiting rooms hoping that THIS next expert might have some answers that you are looking for. Jenny McCarthy says she cured her son -- maybe what SHE is doing is the way to go -- who am I to not listen to Jenny -- she's been in Playboy for Pete's sake!!! And she is always on Larry King -- this MUST be the answer!

It's really, really, REALLY hard dealing with the public school system! You educate yourself, you know what your child's rights are, you know what the school system, the school boards are SUPPOSED to be providing for your child -- and you see how they are failing miserably. You sit in meetings with officials that clearly haven't got a clue what to do, and you think to yourself "what is going to happen to my poor child?" It's hard.

But the very hardest thing, in my opinion, when dealing with a child on the autism spectrum, is having to deal with the public, and their perception of everything. There's just nothing that compares to the steely glances of other mothers in the supermarket, mothers of typical children, who observe your child behaving badly, and, with one sweep of their glance, deem you unworthy as a parent.

The hardest thing is standing in the school yard, watching your child walk around in circles in the kindergarten class, waiting for the bell to ring, hearing other children talk about him --one boy saying to another -- "do you like that kid? Nobody likes that kid"....those are the moments that sting the most -- the moments that don't seem to affect your child, but that stick with you throughout the years. Standing on the sidelines during a soccer game, hearing a coach make comments about the "kid playing in the dirt" while your child, who is fascinated with the patches of mud on the field, not the game going on, remains unaware.

The very hardest thing is standing on the side of the playground, watching other children exclude your child from their play. For me, that is the very hardest thing about raising a child on the autism spectrum. Yesterday Limefreckle Jr. was at the park, and he approached a group of children playing with a soccer ball -- they were playing a made up game that looked like a cross between tag and dodge ball. Limefreckle Jr. so wanted to be part of the game -- he approached the kids and said "hey, can I play with you?".....he followed them around, asking " can I have a turn now?" he faithfully ran off to fetch the ball everytime it went out of bounds -- only to be told "hey kid, give us back the ball"......it was hard to watch. In 8 years, he has struggled socially on the playground. Yesterday I clearly got to see the benefits of all the therapies and effective schooling paying off -- he was on the playground, behaving pretty much like the rest of the kids, as much like them as he can be at this stage of his life, and he was still being ignored. He has learned how to "play" the way other children do -- yes, that is something that has to be taught. "Play" in the way Limefreckle Jr. sees it, is not acceptable to most of society -- so he needs to be taught to "play" like the other children, the "NORMAL" children --- and he is doing it --- he is following the rules, he has learned it. We live in a neighbourhood of fairly well off families, and by watching their children on the playground, it shows. The children travel in cliques, just like their mothers do, their quick to judge the others, and even quicker to exclude. Many of these children are students of the school Limefreckle Jr. used to attend. A "religious" school, a school where one would think the children learn the teachings of the church, where children would be taught to be kind to others. You only need to go to the parking lot of this school at the end of the day, and listen to parents yell at each other, and fight for spots, to see that some of these teachings may not really be sinking in, to parents or to children. I guess this is the life of middle class suburbia, this probably isn't too uncommon in all parts of the country, probably in the same neighbourhood that you lived in -- "It takes a village" isn't a phrase most people around here are familiar with!

But it's most definitely the hardest part of my journey -- other parents, other mother's, other children and their judgements -- that is the hardest part!

Check out what this woman has to say, and prepare to be inspired! I check in frequently to see how she is progressing, you can just feel her strength and her family's love, in the words that she writes. Very moving...

Stupid Pet Tricks

I wish I could teach Rufus to do this! It would be doubly funny looking at me trying to hold an 80 pound labradoodle in one arm like that!

I have "Optimism"

Since Limefreckle Jr. has switched schools, and he's now attending a school strictly comprised of children on the spectrum, I've been talking more about Autism to him. It's not that I haven't wanted to broach the subject before, I have tried to tell him about it, that he has it, etc., but he's never really understood what I was talking about.......the other day we were discussing it, and I told him that he has Autism, and so do all the boys in his school. He asked me what that was, and I said it was a way of thinking, of seeing the world, and he didn't really seem to care one way or the other....then he walked out of the room and said "Hmmm....I have Optimism"......now, whenever I ask him about what he has, he says the same thing "Optimism".....do you think he is trying to tell me something!!??!!

Friday's fabulous finds

I haven't done a Friday's fabulous finds in quite awhile I realize -- and this week, it's something different.....on Friday, I met up with an old friend......someone that I haven't seen in quite awhile, that I've known for 20 years or so.....



There's nothing quite like meeting up with a friend, and just picking up where you left off. This particular friend and I have been talking via email lately, but haven't seen each other in about 7 years ---life has just gotten in the way. She lives near Limefreckle Jr's new school, so we decided to meet up, and when we got together for coffee, you would have thought we had just seen each other last week- I really treasure a friend that good, that really "gets you", knows everything about you, and still likes you anyway! It's funny, when you see someone that you haven't seen in so long, it just brings you back to memories of the time you met -- at least it did for me. We used to work together many years ago, and had so many laughs (didn't we Polka dot?) It's just so good to be able to laugh at things that only you and she probably find funny -- things that if you tried to explain to an outsider probably wouldn't make much sense but to us make us laugh hysterically ---So tell me, do you have a friend like that? Someone that you can go years without seeing, but still remain the same with?

My how time flies by!

Limefreckle Jr. has turned 8!!! We've been so busy celebrating the past couple of weeks, Grandma and Grandpa Limefreckle came into town for the occasion, that's why the blog has been neglected!

Limefreckle Jr., I can't believe you are 8 years old already! It seems like just yesterday you were laying in the crib next to me in the hospital, and I was thinking "they've left me here with this baby, like I know what I'm doing....are they crazy?"


I didn't sleep much, I kept waking up and looking at you, not really sure of what had just happened in my life! It seemed to be such a blur, and the next thing you know, I had a baby! But I figured it all out, and soon you came home -- Mommy a bundle of nerves, crying as Daddy drove out of the hospital parking lot (I was a bit of an emotional wreck those first few days!) And you just taking it all in stride, riding in your car seat.

I remember being so scared to take you anywhere, the first car trip alone with you must have taken 1/2 hour to get you secured in the car seat, but we figured it out, didn't we, and soon you and I were off, anywhere we wanted to go, to the gym, to the mall, to visit friends, it was quite the summer!

The years went on, and you weren't talking when you should have been talking -- a concern to everyone ---- we would read the books, telling us "what to expect" and you weren't always meeting those milestones --- and the journey began for us. It's been quite a ride, these past 8 years, I can remember snuggling with you in your room when you were much younger in the middle of the night, listening to "Baby Mine" our favourite song (you still refer to it as "your song") and wondering what the future held for you. You and I can relate to the line in the song that says "All those same people who scold you, what they'd give just for the right to hold you". There were lots of people scolding, suggesting that you weren't behaving in the way you should be, that we as parents weren't handling things in the way we should be....I guess everyone has an opinion as to how to parent -- it's just human nature, but we held fast, knowing that we were doing the right things for you, and that we as a family were going to figure it out. We tried so many things, some good, some not so good -- music therapy (good), ABA therapy (not so good). We tried daycare, you cried, and cried and cried, Mommy just couldn't bear to leave you anymore, and we decided it was too soon.....we tried Nursery school a few years later, and there was a lot more crying --- you weren't behaving like the other children, you weren't responding to the teachers in the manner which they expected -- you didn't fit in, it wasn't fair to the other children (oh, if Mommy had a nickel for every time she heard that -- we would be rich!) We tried social skills groups, you had occupational therapy, speech therapy.....lots of therapy (sometimes I think Mommy needs therapy!!!) We met some fabulous resource teachers, and they guided us through this ridiculous maze of services -- and you continued to grow. Mommy got a LOT better at figuring out what worked for you, and what wouldn't, and despite many "professionals" that had opinions, we've always gone with our gut feelings, and it hasn't led us wrong yet! It was our gut feeling telling us to get you out of the school system, and so far that has been our best decision for you yet! It's come to my realization, that in this world of Autism, there is one thing that makes all the difference in the world -- and that is a "positive attitude".....I can remember back when you were little, people talking about there being a window of opportunity to help you, children have to learn certain things before age 2, before age 3, before age 6 --- it was sometimes exhausting to listen to other people tell us what was right for you.....the panic in their voices, the negativity, it was too much sometimes!!! I'm so glad that we held fast, and believed in you, often when others wouldn't. Many people didn't get you, still don't get you, but we have come to realize that "that's OK"....they will never get you.....but that will be their loss, not ours. And in the meantime, those that do get you, are richer for it!

So Limefreckle Jr., Happy 8th birthday, It's been a privilege to be your Mom, you've taught me so much more than anyone can imagine!! You continue to climb that mountain ahead of you, we will be here to support you!

OK, I'm not really a narcissist!

I gave Mr. Limefreckle the quiz, I read it to him while we were driving in the car, and I took it again myself. He scored only a 13.....and this time I scored a 15 -- so I either miscalculated the score last time, or I changed my answers this time and didn't realize it. In any event, I guess I'm more normal than I thought! I still can't believe he scored less than me though!