Sunday, February 10, 2008

Who is a bully?

I've been thinking a lot about bullies lately. My son attended a presentation at school last week about bullies -- the police do this fairly often at schools these days, I don't ever remember it in our school, yet we certainly had our fair share of bullies. Whenever I think of a bully, I can't help but think of this guy, the bully in the movie "A Christmas Story ---he definitely looks like a bully.

but who is a bully? Sadly, they are all around us. I recently had a run-in with someone associated with my business, that I feel was trying to intimidate and bully me, and there's a big part of me that just can't believe, at this age I'm still dealing with bullies! But they grow up, and they continue to try and intimidate, and it's sad. I guess the best that we can do is to try and see what motivates a bully-- and usually it's fear and their own insecurities. When you can break it down like that, and feel sorry for them, it does make their actions a little bit easier to take (not much, but a little!). Bullies try to control people, I guess because they need to have control to feel confident in their world. Maybe the police should have presentations for adults in business about bullying - I wonder if adults would actually see themselves as bullies? Does a bully realize they are being a bully, or are they so full of justifications and anger that they can't recognize thier actions? I don't know, but I do know that sadly, they are all around us, and just because you grow up and leave the playground doesn't mean that you aren't going to run into them again!

I'm glad that my association with this particular bully has come to an end. I can put this chapter behind me, and I've learned a lesson about being more particular about the type of person that I enter into business arrangements with. In this situation, there were many cues to tell me that this person was not the kind of person I wanted to associate with, but I didn't listen to those cues -- next time I will take my own intuition much more seriously!


The Glorious Old Girls said...

Annie Sukhram from the Fletcher's Meadow Community Group is trying to get in touch with you, but we can't find a phone number or email address for you so I'm hoping you check your 'comments'. Would you please call her at 905-495-0426. The 3rd Annual Spring Fling is being held on May 10 this year and last year's vendor are being offered first chance at a table; until February 29. Thanks, Joan Doane (